Purely for the Punch Line

I know, I know, you all don't really read my blog because, let's face it, what can you say about a recipe? Well, this one's for you and I promise, there is no recipe to be had. Yes, I did it purely for the punch line.

Mmmm, see these? Don't they look yummy? This is the way to start your day, one big boost of sugar (not for children).

Rhodes' Sticky Buns, and they are easy as can be. Simply pull off the wrapping and place the whole pan in your oven, then turn it on. No preheating necessary! When your timer is up, enjoy them warm and smothered in yummy caramelly goo. If prefered, you may turn them onto a plate for a beautiful presentation. Isn't your mouth watering? Good. Here it comes...

Speaking of buns in my oven, I have one. (I think Dad got the joke this time.) :)

Cream of Broccoli Soup!

We officially had our first snow and as tradition has it in Husband's family, Cream of Broccoli soup was served. It's hard to get the full effect when your house isn't filled with the wonderful aroma of this creamy bowlful. Believe me, it's just what you need when the snow starts falling...

32 oz. frozen chopped broccoli (florets are prettier, but expensiver too)

1/4 c. dried minced onion (1/2 cup fresh will work as well)

1/4 c. chicken bouillon

1 qt. half and half

1/4 c. butter, melted

1/4 c. flour

red wine vinegar (opt.)

Place broccoli in a pot and barely cover with water, add onion flakes and bouillon and bring to a boil. Turn down and cook 5-8 minutes until broccoli is almost tender. Stir in half and half. Mix melted butter and flour together into a roux and slowly stir into soup. Keep on low and do not boil. Stir until thickened and add more milk if you prefer it thinner. Salt and pepper to taste. MIL Mary adds a tablespoon of the vinegar for a final touch (I do two, I love it, but it can be overdone!) She has also been known to throw in a small bottle of Cheez Whiz, so if you like it Cheesy, there you go. Enjoy it hot.

Two Easy Recipes

...that look like nothing at all...

This one is curry popcorn. I know you can't see the curry, but believe me, it is there and it is awesome. I don't even eat plain buttered popcorn anymore. I was always the one who made popcorn in a pot with the oil and the shaking, until the lady who sold us our last house and left most of her unwanteds in it kindly "donated" a hot-air popper. Mmmm, this is yummy.
Okay, so for all you curry fans, here is the recipe: Popcorn, butter and a mix of curry powder and salt. Make sure you have at least two parts curry to one part salt or you will be sorry. Then do it nice and slow, sprinkle here, sprinkle there, tasting as you go. I like lots of curry.
If you'd like a recipe for real actual curry, you'll have to see my brother-in-law. He's a good Scottish boy who prefers not to "go for an Indian", but to make his own. (They talk funny over there.)

Next we have broiled grapefruit. Yes, broiled, and I must say, it is also tasteworthy. There is a bit of conflict within the families, some eat grapefruit with salt and some with sugar. I don't think I ever put anything on it, but once in a while you get those sourish ones that need some help, so this is what you do: Cut grapefruit in half and along all those little lines so it's ready to go. Sprinkle nicely with brown sugar and broil it close until the sugar is bubbly. This will improve even those old dried grapefruits you haven't eaten yet. Oh, but if they are my Grammie's grapefruit, don't you dare, they are perfect the way they are. (Why don't they sell those yellow ones in Utah?)

In the words of my Husband...

"French fries are just a means of getting the ketchup to your mouth."

In the words of my five year old (3 years ago): "More kappitch please."

In the words of my two year old: "Dip, dip, diiiiiippp!"

That's right folks, my family loves ketchup--except for me. Oh, it's not bad, it just isn't what I prefer. They eat it on chicken nuggets and in beef stew, on eggs and potatoes. It leaves red rashes on my little one's faces and still they dip on. I must say in high school, ranch dressing was my condiment of choice for fries and nuggets, but it is shunned in our current household (who doesn't like ranch??), also except for me, although I can't stand the stuff out of a bottle, but I could drink my homemade version. So I now go for plain fries--or even fry sauce is better than ketchup--and equal parts dijon mustard and apricot jam for my nuggets, honey mustard at McDonald's. I take a good amount of hot pepper sauce on my eggs and sour cream on my potatoes.

Now I want to know what you like. I don't mind if you are closed-minded ketchup freaks. Crazy or not, tell me your favorite dips, sauces and condiments and what you eat them on. Come on, people. I need a laugh.

Warning

You know those cute little light sticks you give your kids on Halloween? You bend them and they light up and they say NON-TOXIC on their packages. I would show you a picture of one only I immediately rid my house of the pests after this incident (which unfortunately has nothing to do with cooking only that it went in my kid's mouth and then ruined the kitchen table).


So, apparently the outer plastic coating is the non-toxic part they refer to, because if you bite one open and leave it on your table, it will melt your varnish. Yes, completely dissolved away and stained forever. If you do not want this to happen to your child's esophagus, I suggest you disregard the NON-TOXIC part and get yourself a flashlight.

No soup for you!

Sheesh, you'd think I was the soup Nazi! Are there no soup recipes to be had, you ask? Well, I'd better get a move on. SOUP RECIPE #1:

White Chicken Chili:

1 Tb. olive oil

2 lb. boneless skinless chicken

1 onion, chopped

1 1/2 c. chicken broth

4 oz. can diced green chiles

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. cumin

1/2 tsp. dried oregano

1/2 tsp. dried cilantro
15 oz. can white beans, rinsed

small can green enchilada sauce (opt.)

Cube chicken and cook with onion in oil 5 min. I skipped this step and used cooked, shredded from the freezer. Add broth, chiles & spices. Simmer 15 min. Add beans and enchilada sauce if you choose. Heat through. Top with Monterey Jack or crushed tortilla chips.

By the way, the enchilada sauce is my friend Georgia's "secret ingredient" and I only put the "optional" part for your benefit. At our house it is mandatory.

Wait for the first snow! I will post my mother-in-law's traditional Cream of Broccoli Soup, which is unbelievable.

My New Refrigerator Magnets

And you thought My Little Ponies were only good for one thing...(Can anyone tell me why these horsies have magnets on their hooves and how my daughters discovered it?)

Canning Season

There is something completely satisfying about putting bottled food on your shelves. It may be the "I just saved $2.50 a jar on that apricot jam!" or the "I only eat my mom's pickles, so you should learn how to make them," from my husband, but I absolutely adore looking at jars of food I have canned myself. So here they are: apricot jam from my tree--next year I will pick them underripe (before the birds get the lot of them) and ripen in brown bags; Heather's zucchini relish--my first batch, (zucchini from my garden, most else from the store) and rather tasty if I do say so; Husband's mom's pickles--they really are the best and her 4 cucumber plants have produced some 26? quarts so far; and beets from MIL's garden and mine--mine are the one inchers, though I planted a month earlier than she did click here for my excuse (if you haven't noticed, even I don't visit my garden blog anymore).

Aunt Laurel's "Uncle Ben's" Rice

I had a little trouble deciding where to put my quotes. This is my version of store-bought Uncle Ben's long & wild rice. I made His, smelled it and looked at the ingredients, then came up with my own cheaper-but-similar rice for a Relief Society Dinner (they cut our budget this year).
So here it is:

Long Grain & Wild Rice
12 oz. pkg. long grain & wild rice
2 c. beef broth
2 c. chicken broth
1 Tb. oil
1 Tb. parsley (dried)
1 ts. marjoram
1 ts. garlic powder
1/2 t. each paprika, salt
4 oz. can mushrooms (opt.)

Combine all in pot and follow directions on rice package OR press COOK on your rice cooker.
Add 1/2 c. almonds if you like, and 1/4 c. water/broth to unstick it. Stir and serve. Freezes well, makes mouths happy.

What can I say?

I love Chinese food. So do Husband and Kids. I don't like paying for it, or wondering what is really in it or the tons of sugar and cornstarch and MSG. So, I ask myself, "Can I possibly make Chinese as good as they do?" And I try. And miracles happen.




Beef and Broccoli:
1 lb. beef steak, sliced thin (I used chunks from the freezer)
1/4 c. water
1/2 c. soy sauce
1/4 c. brown sugar
3 T. vinegar
2 cloves garlic, crushed or minced
2 t. grated fresh ginger
1 T. cornstarch
2 T. oil
1 large onion, sliced thin
2 heads broccoli, cut up into florets

Combine beef, water, soy, sugar, vinegar, garlic, ginger and cornstarch in a bag or bowl and marinate 10 minutes or more. Drain well, reserving marinade. Place broccoli and a bit of water in a microwave bowl covered in plastic wrap and microwave it 4 minutes until tender-crisp (or, hey, you could steam it "the real way"). Heat oil in a wok or skillet and brown beef and onion together about 3 minutes. Add marinade and bring to a boil at least 5 minutes and until beef is done and sauce is bubbly. Stir in drained, hot broccoli and serve on rice. It's good. REALLY good.
Don't forget my Cashew Chicken when you set up your buffet. I have been promised an egg roll recipe to die for (Joni--that's your cue) or you can try this one. Have yourself an asian night.

Speaking of, Toni, do you remember eating cream cheese wontons on the floor with no shoes? That's a good memory.